Welcome Back to Ken’s Place!
It has been a very cold minute since I have posted here on the blog. I had a plan to get a new post up every other week or so, but that went straight out the window as soon as November hit. When November hit, life hit, and so did writers block. Every time I would sit down to try and write, nothing. Maybe a sentence or a phrase, but they all felt like pieces to very different puzzles.
I finally had decided to just let go of writing for a while. I didn’t know how long, I knew I just needed to take the pressure off myself and focus more on other areas of my life for the time. It wasn’t too difficult to put it on the back burner with how crazy life was getting, as I ended up moving homes, re-homing my dog, Christmas was coming quickly, and I was leaving for a trip to California at the end of December.
Although writing was fairly easy to give up with so many other distractions around me, I still struggled internally. I had so many thoughts and opinions trying to tell me that I needed to just force myself to write something. If I didn’t keep posting, no one would ever want to read my blog, I would lose everything, and that I would be a failure for not being able to follow through with the goals I set for myself. I felt ashamed. Ashamed of who I was. Ashamed that I just can’t ever stick to anything. Ashamed that I failed once again. Ashamed that I did something wrong. Ashamed that I am something wrong.
You know what I realized about all of these thoughts, though?
They are all lies.
The enemy is so incredibly talented at finding those pockets and holes in our hearts and minds where he can place those lies inside of us knowing that we will take them and run. He does it so strategically that we believe they are our own thoughts. That they are truth. This is exactly what happened to me. The lies took over and I began to live day in and day out thinking all these words were truth about Kendall.
Kendall is a failure.
Kendall is never going to get her life together
Kendall is never going anywhere
Kendall is never going to be good enough to do anything worthwhile
Kendall is simply not built to have connection with others
Kendall is not as pretty as she could be
Kendall is going to stay stuck in the same cycle forever
Deep down I knew they were all the farthest thing from the truth, but a piece of me couldn’t help but wonder, what if? What if Kendall was a nobody who was going no where? What if they were true?
The crazy thing is that all of these lies originally began from putting a pause on blogging, but folded into who Kendall was as a person attacking her character, her mindset, her attitude, and her heart. That is how I believe Satan ruins so many people’s lives. He starts with the smallest, most innocent lie, and uses it to slowly creep into peoples’ soul and eventually makes them believe that they are a complete mistake.
All that to say, even though there is a cruel enemy trying to attack every single person from every angle, no one has to become victim to it. Not you; not me; not anyone. We must learn to fight every negative thought that tries to enter our brain. We need to learn how to fight the lies telling us to seclude ourselves from people around us. The lies that tell us we don’t need anyone, that we are alone and no one will understand what we are going through, and most of all, the lies that tell us we are weak, nothing, and a pile of crap if we open up and show people what’s inside.
We must learn how to fight well, fight strong, and fight long.
Stay tuned for Part II where I will explain the tools I use to battle these lies and how you can learn to battle them, as well!!
For now, here are a few questions for you to ponder on until I get Part II posted.
What do you believe about yourself that is holding you back from who you want to be?
What are your biggest insecurities?
How do you feel about yourself when you think about those things you’re insecure about?
Is this a feeling that is more positive or negative?